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My Tony Awards® Diary
by Ann Hampton Callaway
Ann Hampton Callaway has received an American Theatre Wing Tony Award® nomination in the
Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical category for her work in Swing!.
Part 1: Hearing the news
MAY 15, 2000
Part 2: The company celebrates six nominations
MAY 16, 2000
Part 3: The Nominees Brunch
MAY 17, 2000
Part 4: The Search for the Perfect Tony Gown
MAY 23, 2000
Part 5: Top Ten Reasons Why I'm Happy to Be a Tony® Nominee
MAY 24, 2000
Part 6: The Countdown Begins
MAY 28, 2000
Part 1: Hearing the news
MAY 15, 2000
When I think back to last Monday, when I got word about the Tony nominations, it's hard to
believe a whole week has gone by. Ever since I can remember, the Tonys seemed like very
glamorous awards. More sophisticated than the Oscars, somehow. As if the world they
represented and honored was more artistic, took more chances, had higher stakes. The
people honored by the Oscars seemed glamorous but did not seem real or knowable. The
people honored by the Tonys seemed human, touchable, somehow a part of my personal life. I
have always felt that nothing compares to the art of live performance. Yes, I adore cinema
but the act of someone baring their soul in front of hundreds or thousands of people in a
live, raw moment filled with all the emotional repercussions of being in a space together
feels important and essential, possibly life-altering. The perfect tension between fantasy
and reality. The grandest form of intimacy.
It was quite a thrill when I learned my sister, Liz Callaway, had been nominated for a
Tony for Best Featured Actress in a Musical (my category) for her riveting performance in
the Maltby/Shire show Baby. It was 1984 and I was enormously proud of her. But
there was a tiny part of me that felt sad. I had dreamed of a career in the theatre, had
starred in several shows in high school, been an acting major in college at the University
of Illinois and had moved to New York from Chicago in hopes of developing further as a
singer and an actress. At that point and for several years after, the promise of Broadway
eluded me. I loved my career as a singer/songwriter but somehow Broadway was a frontier I
continued to long for. Liz being nominated for a Tony meant that she was accepted into the
fold of an amazing world of talent. She had made a difference. She had found her voice.
She had created an unforgettable moment.
Dreams sometimes become buried. You start to forget them so you can enjoy and make the
best of what is happening. The Thursday before the Tonys I was having a therapy session
and I admitted that it would be amazing if I got nominated. This was a big leap for me
because my main hope was that the show would be nominated and get the attention it
deserved on its many creative levels. I couldn't even imagine I would be in the running.
But it felt liberating to go there for just a moment. Own the hope.
Last Monday at 8:30 in the morning, after I saw on Fox 5 that we had won our nomination
for best musical, I happily set out to go back to a much needed sleep. The rest of the
awards would be on at 10. It was so gratifying to know that our show had been taken
seriously. In spite of the fact that audiences seem overjoyed night after night by Swing!
it has felt, at times, that a few significant members of the press have completely
dismissed the validity and beauty of our show. Winning that nomination gave a feeling of
triumph, that we were indeed "The Littlest Engine That Could."
Then, when [press agent] Miller Wright called me at 8:40 to tell me about my personal
nomination, I thought he was lying. Playing a joke on me. I yelled at him and said it was
very mean to joke about such a thing. When I realized that he was telling the truth, I
screamed out of joy and astonishment. I'll admit it. I was so hysterical I almost lost my
voice. But it was one of the happiest moments of my life. Then, when I heard that Laura [Swing!
co-star Laura Benanti] was nominated too, I was overcome. I immediately left a
ridiculously emotional message on her service and proceeded to sob for several parts of
the rest of the day. Fortunately, I was able to stop sobbing occasionally to enjoy a
champagne/lobster lunch at the 21 Club with Miller and my record producer, Lisa Schiff. (I
have given up drinking but make exceptions at exceptional moments.) What a thrill to share
this news with my family. My parents both cried. My sister and brother-in-law were as
shocked as I and as excited. All day long and for days after, phone calls and e-mails and
flowers came in from around the country. An unforgettable moment. A buried dream come
true.
* * *
More later about our cast's response on Tuesday, the day after the nominations were announced.
Part 2: The company celebrates six nominations
MAY 16, 2000
So...Tuesday back at the St. James...what a buzz. We all arrived to see a stairway of
beautiful flower arrangements with lovely notes for every member of the cast from our
producers. Then Everett [Bradley] and I got additional gorgeous roses bouquets in honor of
our Theater World Awards. Flowers, telegrams, hugs, cheers. I had ordered a half case of
Veuve Cliquot for after the show, cause honey, it was time to party. Boy, did we work hard
for this.
It was funny. There were a few cast members from the swing competition world who were not
yet trained in Tony excitement. They were brought up to speed quickly. Laura [Benanti]
arrived at the stage door after her triumphant week in the City Center Encores series
playing Eileen in Wonderful Town. I greeted her with a big hug and I think the girl
was still in shock. It wasn't until Wednesday when she had a little time to process it all
that she started to show real excitement. The fabulous Tony baskets helped to make it feel
more real.
All I can say is WOW!!! I hope the Taittinger folks read this because I want to thank them
from the bottom of my heart for this fabulous, extravagant, sensuous, decadent gift. I
think my favorite item was the spa day. That will be deeply appreciated when a free moment
arrives. I know -- instead of holding the Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall, could we
all just go to Canyon Ranch for the weekend?
Anyway, to finish Tuesday night, I think the show felt very special for me because it gave
me a little more faith in my instincts and our whole show to be so generously
acknowledged. I'm always excited to walk on that stage but that Tuesday there must have
been a special glow. The "Tony glow"!
After the show, the champagne was served and the producers had brought a lovely cake.
[Production Supervisor] Jerry Zaks made a beautiful toast and speech and as he was
speaking the curtain rose and the remainder of the audience got closer to see what the
excitement was. When we explained "six Tony nominations," a wonderful huge
ovation erupted. It was a very happy night, indeed. Cloud nine had some very talented
dancers dancing on it. And one happy diva.
Next installment: The Tony luncheon at Sardi's. (Thank God for twenty stolen minutes at
Saks. I have something to wear.)
Part 3: The Nominees Brunch
MAY 17, 2000
The Nominees Brunch...yes, it was a feeding frenzy but it wasn't about food. My friend Bob
Stillman, Tony nominee from Dirty Blonde, had been under the impression that we'd
all sit at lovely round tables and get to know each other over poached salmon and a few
charming speeches. It was hardly a luncheon. It was a good, hearty press junket. At one
point, the lovely Deborah Yates, after an hour and a half of non-stop interviewing, asked
for a glass of water. She echoed the sentiments of us all, Tony nominees and members of
the press.
But you know what? It was exciting. The air was abuzz at Sardi's [Restaurant] with
exhilaration and the wit of some very brilliant people. It was fabulous getting our framed
certificates, and may I say they are beautifully presented. That silver seal and the
lovely framing are the picture of elegance. Most of us were walking around with one under
our arm, but our director, Lynne Taylor Corbett, had two and Susan Stroman needed a truck
for hers. We had to do all these interviews and hold the frames up while we did them. I
was so used to the routine that I swore I was going to perform the entire matinee with the
frame. I would have figured out something clever for Blues in the Night at the
piano.
I was so pleased to see the great turn out of press. CNN, CBS, New York 1, E!, Broadway
Beat, Barry Z, Japanese TV, and many more had the cameras rolling. And the cameras were
clicking. It was fun having a shot with all the nominees from Swing! And I also
enjoyed the portrait of all the nominees in my category, Best Featured Actress in a
Musical. May I say that each of these ladies is magnificent and uniquely gifted and I am
deeply honored to be in their company. I loved both the ladies of Contact.
Karen Ziemba so powerfully expresses layers of pathos and the joy of liberation through
dance. Deborah Yates has astonishing presence in her role and Grace Kelly lives in her
splendid demeanor. I have not seen The Wild Party, but Eartha Kitt is a
force of nature whose longevity and passion are electrifying and inspiring. (I hope I'm
half as sexy when I'm her age.) And my co-star, Laura Benanti, is a major star in the
making. Already at twenty, she is an accomplished singer, dancer and actress whose work in
our show every night captures the hearts of all who see her. A consummate professional and
a delight as a person, I love sharing the stage with her.
It's so funny when people ask me about what it's like competing in the same category with
her. I can't compete with her. We're like a family at Swing!, and just as I've
loved having a talented sister, I love having a talented co-star. If there is any
competition, it's with ourselves. I am competing with my last performance to have more
life, more imagination, more soul. In that competition, I hope I win every night.
At the Tonys, though, it might be a great relief not to win. The idea of making a
coherent, dignified speech without completely losing it sounds implausible for a person of
my emotional nature. When I took my mother out for Mother's Day dinner at Union Pacific,
at one point she said, "Now honey, if you win, will you promise me you won't sing
your acceptance speech?" How many mothers would have to ask their daughter that? (I
have been known, when under duress, to sing rather than speak. Maybe that's why I feel so
at home in a Broadway musical.) I did assure her that I would not sing. It's so odd to
feel as I do about singing. If it was up to me, I might sing as freely and as often as the
birds when I go about my day. But it is important to stay true to some conventions.
I'll close this Tony diary entry with a memory. On my eleventh birthday, my parents took
me to see my first Broadway play. It was Room Service starring my dad's old college
buddy, Ron Leibman. When we went backstage afterwards, we told him how much we enjoyed his
performance. And then he made a very big mistake. He said, "You know, John, the
theater is dead."
Well that was it. My mother almost had a nervous breakdown about him saying such words in
front of her aspiring daughter. The whole ride back to Huntington, Long Island, all we
heard was, of course the theater was alive and how could he say such a thing in front of
an impressionable girl?
Well, after the excitement of creating and performing Swing! and all the joy of
meeting such tremendous artists in this community, I am so glad that Mr. Leibman was wrong
and that I had the sense not to believe him. Not only is the theatre alive, it has a very
healthy pulse. If any kids are reading this, I encourage you to be a part of the life and
work hard at one day lending your gifts to its rich heritage.
Goodbye for now. Perhaps I'll write next about the search for the perfect Tony gown. (No,
I haven't found it yet, but my ice pink Ellen Tracy suit was a hit today.)
Part 4: The Search for the Perfect Tony Gown
MAY 23, 2000
Twelve days to the Tonys and still I have no gown. What is a diva to do? My co-star, Laura
Benanti, has her gown. She did a modeling job in a floorshow for some hot new designer
(I've neurotically blocked out his name) and he lent her that exquisite, iridescent,
fern-green gown she wore for the Drama Desk Awards. Now he is lending her (sit down for
this) a $50,000 dollar gown encrusted with diamonds! This is not a dress, this is a
national security issue! She has to have guards with her at all times. Harry Winston is
doing her earrings and my jewelry, and maybe I'm going to want to have some guards, too.
Can I hand pick them? I want them tall. I'm five ten and I want men I can look up to. I
want them strong. I want them to be well read, incredibly charming, and speak with an
accent. One should look like a more powerful Lawrence Olivier (when he was in Wurthering
Heights) and the other should look like George Clooney-- in fact, find out if George
is free that night. I'm sure he'd be happy to do an accent for me.
Anyway, this search for the perfect Tony gown has me a wee bit antsy. Even though I'm a
leaner, meaner me, I suppose I still have what one woman referred to after seeing me in a
concert, "a real person's body." I've worked so hard to become a size eight and
I thought, at last, I will be a sample size. But guess what? In haute couture, size eights
are size sixes. Come on, fashion moguls of the world. Don't make us girls any more
neurotic about our bodies than we already are. If you want to continue sewing your hautes,
be real. I don't want my middle name to have to be Anorrexia.
The lovely Shawnique Hill from our show is helping in the search. She's dressed lots of
big stars for the Grammys and other awards programs. She's called dozens of designers and
some think the Tonys are fab and others don't put out for anyone but the Grammys and the
Oscars. I've looked at the books of Pamela Dennis, Richard Tyler, and Angel Sanchez. I
tried a few Richard Tyler dresses which were wonderful but not perfect. I loved the color
of one gown and the silhouette of another. It's like finding the perfect lover--all the
qualities you hope for are rarely in one person. (You get the tall, strong, well-read,
incredibly charming guy but you don't get the accent which is so important to the
longevity of a meaningful relationship.)
Monday, I went to Badgley Mischka to try on some gowns they'd selected for me. They were
lovely but not perfect. Mr. Badgley and Mr. Mischka were very kind to personally come out
and advise me. They were excited about the Tonys and are happily attending this year.
They're getting some more choices for me to see this week. Fingers crossed. Tomorrow,
before the Tonys' International Press Event, I sneak off to Valentino to don their diva
apparel. And I think every moment I can manage, I am going to be seen wondering through
the racks and riches of every major designer on Madison Avenue as I pray to the fashion
gods above. When I went into Bergdorf's, I was shocked not to find any must-haves. I had
had such success there finding my outfit for the Boston Pops PBS special (a magnificant
Givenchy asymmetrical cream tuxedo). There's Saks and "Needless Markup" and SoHo
to explore. We'll see what happens.
Pray for me. This is one of the most exciting moments of my life and I want to look
dazzling and devastating. Nothing less will do. Since the Tony Awards are so close to my
birthday, maybe some appreciative fan (tall, strong, well read, incredibly charming, and
speaking with an accent) will find me a little something to ease my angst. Something that
looks real nice with Harry Winston. I'm just wild about Harry. And I might just become
wild about you.
Part 5: Top Ten Reasons Why I'm Happy to Be a Tony® Nominee
MAY 24, 2000
10. Got to hear a lot of foreign accents today at the Tony International Press Event.
(See last diary entry.)
9. Was offered a free case of Kaluha by a man with a foreign accent at this wild,
confusing party.
8. While having our pictures taken by lots of people with foreign accents, got to teach
fellow tall nominee Deborah Yates my line, "I'm worth the climb."
7. Realized Deborah, like my co-star Laura Benanti, is so down-to-earth that you can't
feel competitive with her. You just feel like winners together.
6. Also realized today how grateful I am that all the nominees are so fabulous so that way
it's a greater honor to win or lose.
5. I started to have the sensation that I'm not only succeeding at life, I'm starting to
succeed at success.
4. Found out by e-mail that several friends around the country are having special Tony
parties in honor of their old buddy becoming an overnight sensation in 20 years.
3. Feel my whole life is being kissed by this honor.
2. Since I got to sit next to Tony nominee Gabriel Byrne yesterday at the Theater World
Awards, I got to remember all day today resisting the temptation to press my lips against
his and say, "Byrne this."
1. Got the idea to call Laura's designer who's lending her a $50,000 diamond encrusted
gown. Will ask him to outfit Karen, Deborah, Eartha, and me in the same gowns. (And since
I'm not a 2,4, or 6, being a size 8 would make my gown worth $75,000.) There we'll all be
with all those fabulous diamonds and all cute guards behind us and since we're all
matching, they'll have to make it a five-way tie. The first Tony Awards of the millennium
will be a night to remember and for years to come we'll be the talk of all those people
with fetching foreign accents.
Part 6: The Countdown Begins
MAY 28, 2000
Well, friends, it's the Sunday before the Tony Awards. I'm surviving, but let me tell you,
all the excitement has taken its toll. Last Thursday at curtain call, I did my final bow,
nothing special, and threw my back out. This has never happened to me before. I missed
Friday's show and Saturday matinee. Thanks to Rosie's chiropractor named "Dr.
Janet," a lovely reiki healer named Vandaya, and a native American healer named
Gypsy, I was able to eek out performances on Saturday night and Sunday. To these three
kind souls, I say a million thanks. I didn't think I'd be able to walk for a week. My
brand new understudy, Stacia Fernandez, went on for me and did splendidly. I later found
out that she, too, had thrown her back out but not as bad. I am wondering if there are
goblins with back fetishes at the St. James.
Anyway, I think I have found my gown. Last Wednesday, I returned to Badgley Mischka and
tried on some exquisite dresses hand-picked for me. I was tempted by a dusty pink
extravaganza of crinoline and Austrian crystal beadwork. It had a superb neckline but not
one inch of it said Swing! or "Ann Hampton Callaway." I've been wanting
to wear something gorgeous and surprising, but since I haven't been nominated for my
riveting performance in Gone with the Wind, I declined. I thought back to the day
before when I ran into the brilliant Claudia Shear who said she was tired of trying on
gowns that looked like prom night. (This dress looked like Shakespeare's first prom.) So,
finally I opted for a supremely elegant black and ivory gown. It has subtle silver
beadwork at the bottom of the ivory part of the dress and jacket. (By the way, jackets are
a Tony nominee's best friend because I've heard it gets to be an arctic blast with all the
cameras needing the cold.) And the gown has a beautiful drape and a splendid train that
says, "Ava Gardner," "late-night jazz," and "stately Tony
nominee." Regrettably, it doesn't say, "sex goddess," but if Catherine Zeta
Jones liked it, it must have allure because that lady knows how to dress.
Later that day, my dresser friend Shawnique found a dazzling deep purple gown by Richard
Tyler. We are waiting to find out if somewhere in this country it exists in my size. Is
there a store called The Forgotten Tony Nominee for women who are true 8's? I pray. If so,
I want to go out in a blaze of diva color. Harry Winston, get those diamond/amethyst
earrings ready.
Today I was getting a manicure and saw the magazine Modern Bride. I saw all the
articles and captions and immediately thought about the Tonys. I've never been married but
since it is 'THE' day for a woman, I thought to myself, "The Tonys is as close as
I've gotten so far to a 'THE' kind of day." I immediately fantasized about thumbing
through "Modern Tony Nominee" with articles on dieting, finding a that
perfect dress, tanning do's and don'ts, the perfect acceptance speech, how to keep an
on-line Tony diary, and more.
Then, because I had low blood sugar (and low hug sugar) I fantasized about a
"Tonymoon." Like honeymoons, Tonymoons would be fabulous romantic getaways that
would provide the needed rest, relaxation, and hot sex necessary to decompress from all
the Tony hoopla. All the new shows would take a two-week hiatus so that everyone could go
wild. Maybe next year, in addition to the new Tony category [Special Theatrical Event; see
news story] (thank you, brilliant Tony Administration Committee, for acknowledging new art
forms in the theatre), this could be inaugurated as a theatre tradition.
Before I go, I want to say whoever planned the sequencing of this year's awards must be
feeling feisty towards my category. The Swing! segment goes on at 10:30-ish and
Laura Benanti and I have three minutes to get out of costume and get into our dazzling
gowns to be ready for Best Featured Actress in a Musical. While we're furiously changing
offstage, Contact is performing their number. Somehow, fellow nominees Deborah
Yates and Karen Ziemba have to change out of their costumes in a millisecond, or possibly
give their acceptance speech in a "don't move" outfit or a famous yellow dress.
Eartha Kitt can just sit and look fabulous as she always does. It will be exciting
backstage. Real diva bonding will be going on. I'm still praying for the five-way tie.
Well folks, this is my last night with a computer before the Tonys. I'll try to say hello
again but if I don't have the chance, know that this has been fun. I've kept a journal
since I was ten and finally, this is one journal I don't mind if my sister reads.
Blessings to theatre lovers everywhere. May all those guys named Tony who are voting on
everything be forgiving this week toward women who limp slightly during their Act II dance
sequence. And by God, next Sunday, I hope those guards who have to watch over us Harry
Winston bejeweled women are tall, well read, incredibly charming, and speak with an
accent.
